wife wants to stop divorce and work things out ?
posted Sunday,
5:55 pm
wife had an affair 3 years ago i forgave her but she didn’t take any steps to repair our marriage just didn’t participate we separated 8 months ago and last month i filed for divorce now she wants me to move back in and stop the divorce she lied stole and cheated on me we have been married for 19 years i still love my wife very much but i dont know if i can ever trust her again i have meet some one eles that i meet over the internet we have not met in person yet she is very nice very kind and has much the eame history as i do we have a lot in common so i dont know what to do give my wife another chance or move on with the other
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Filed under: Divorce
Let’s evaluate this….she lied, she cheated, she abused your trust, she stole from you. AND YOU WANT THIS BACK? My goodness, man, have some respect for yourself, she obviously doesn’t.
Only you can look deep into your heart. I think history is history to a point. Make a list of all the good with the almost ex wife. Make a list of the bad, and compare them. But honestly, you deserve better if this new person is much better than I say you go honestly and go with the new person.
If you move on with this other woman you’d be a damned fool!!! You don’t know that woman from Adam’s house cat, you don’t know what she’s about. If you don’t want you wife, cool. Move on, but don’t run into the arms of some chick whose feeding you lines over the internet. But hey…….I’ve seen worse
dating some one u have ever seen is risky business, and of course she maybe sweet,share the same interest as you, but u never really know until u actually meet her. so i say if u love ur wife and want to make it work, then give it another shot.
Oh honey, I would move on. Trust would probably be an issue.
I say use good ol wifey for side action….and then move on the that next broad….and then keep using your ex wifey as an occasional hookup.
If you don’t think you can trust her again then there isn’t a reason in staying in the relationship because the only thing that will be on your mind is what is she doing or who is she with. You filed for divorce so it is ultimately your decision in whether you want to get back with her or not, it’s not her decision at all. She has to prove to you that she changed she can’t just say she has. I would probably get a divorce and then if you two find yourselves wanting each other and are able to stay in a stable relationship you can get married again. I know it’s difficult trust me been there done that but in the end it won’t get you depressed.
Did she lie, steal, and cheat on you at the same time. Is this something she has been doing for the last 19 years. If so, yes leave her. If she made one mistake, give her another chance.
Get rid of her, she is sucking your happiness away and it would be better for both of you. You can’t allow your emotions to over ride your intelligence. Things rarely change especially if this is an on going thing. leave her alone and let her go, get on with a new happy life and stop being her doormat. You need to have a life that you enjoy and not one that makes you worried and hurt. She needs to ghrow up and stop using you too. Seems like she wants you now that she’s gonna lose you. bet she didn’t care about that when she had someone elses penis in her. let’s be real, life without her would be better and don’t let her ruin your future by interfering in your new relationship. Best wishes
EDIT there is nothing wrong with finding love over the net but be cautious and take it slow remember on line dating rules when meeting in person and don’t give anyone money. There are plenty of women to chose from.
Of course you still love your wife, you were married to her 19 years. But you will always have trust issues with her now. Do not stop the divorce, you can still be friends with the ex and if it comes back together some day so be it. That’s highly unlikely. Continue to learn about this new friend but don’t rush off into a relationship with a stranger. After 20 years maybe the best thing for you will be to stay single for a little while.
Some things you don’t miss until you lost it, she now knows what she had and she then changed her heart when she found out the grass is not greener on the other side, some thing have opened her eyes.
She is now prepared to work things out.
This could end up being a good thing.
Then again, she cheated on you and you must decide for you self if you love her still, don’t start working on it just for her.
Personally i would en have given her the change the first time, but im not you and if you still love her you should give it a chance.
You are the only one that can answer the question. If you can once again trust her and forgive her for her wrongs and move on, then give it another try. If not, you are better to move on and get your life back on track.
A marriage is a pretty serious commitment. My thoughts are that if you are writing this on here you are having doubts or at least entertaining the thought of taking her back. Yes, your trust issues do seem to be legitimate but why not take some time and look into it deeper? Maybe some counceling is in order…that way you can say that you did put forth some sort of effort and gave it somewhat of a try to make sure that this relationship is over for you. Maybe she will change her mind also and say "nevermind….let’s move forward with the divorce" It never hurts to keep yourself open to all options and you might find that you really do love your wife and might be willing to reconcile…people do change and a divorce is definately a life changing experience.
Good luck…just my two cents