What is the point in trying to save your marriage if your spouse have an affair?
posted Friday,
3:09 am
I just don’t understand the logic behind it ! there will always be resentment,yet some still hang around for the bitter pain !
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Filed under: Marriage
Some people have a lot to lose and cant start over !
If sex was the only factor then it is easier to get over it!
As long as no std or kids emerged from it ,you can probably work it out !
for me,
it’s because i too want to be forgiven and not judged.
my staying really doesn’t have anything to do with him.
Some people swear it has made their marriages stronger. Personally I couldn’t get past the betrayal although I tried. Once that trust is gone it’s very difficult to get back. Not impossible but very difficult.
Dunno man I have said the same thing over and over. I get the same lame excuse " Leaving is not an option"
I think it should be the person trying to save it who made the ‘mistake’. If that person doesn’t want to, there is no point. I think some people depend on their spouse way too much that they rather close their eyes on an affair than having to go out and make it on their own.
Not me, I’d be done. Love isn’t enough to overcome that ultimate betrayal.
Perhaps they didn’t have strong enough proof.
Well there are marriages that have survived this .
But yes i agree there must be resentment an lack of trust
There isn’t a point…if the person is having an affair they don’t really care about you so get a divorce.
An affair is one good reason to end a marriage.
But if it is a one-time deal, if the other can forgive that action, and if the adulterer works hard to rebuild trust, the relationship can work again.
Sometimes it’s not worth it to someone to give up all those memories and time spent together and love lavished on each other just because of a poor choice.
And, if there are children involved – they may want to save their marriage for the children’s sake…so that they can continue having both parents under one roof.
I can’t tell you that I got over it 100% but I’ve seen better days and raising two children with out a father for me is not an option. I don’t want to make the same mistake my mother made, I have a happy life now… I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Why would you is right?
Some people can actually forgive there spouse for cheating and that is why they stay. Some stay because they are afraid to leave. Some need to stay for the money involved. If they leave, they may not be able to make enough to be on their own. They are may reason to stay. I would not stay becasue I would not be able to forgive. I would have to leave becasue I would not want to hold on to the bitterness.
Stay for the the full sentence (about 20 years), then take 1/2 their retirement,
social security, 401K and spousal support… hit them where it hurts – their wallet!!
Love is blinding when you get caught off guard !
I don’t have definitive proof. All the indicators point to it. My wife says no but she will lie about anything. It sucks I know. I take my vows seriously. If she ultimately leaves, I have a clear conscious, I did my best. Although my best at times was woefully inadequate.
Do you still love your spouse and are they still in love with you? Has this been the only time? & Do you have children? These are the questions you have to ask yourself. If you still love him/her and they still love you, then at least you know that your gonna work on something worth fight for. If this was a "brain fart" on their part, and its only been this one time, you have to remember there are alot of home wreckers out there that get a kick out of ruining families. Is that bitch/asshole worth losing your family? Finally, the children, the little ones are the ones that get hurt in the long run. They are innocent in the decisions we sometimes make. And one of us has to be the strong one that keeps the family all under one roof. Forgiving is possible, but forgetting is HARD. Sit down talk about it and you will both come out with the correct answer. Of course the adulterer is gonna have to work harder than you do in trying to make up the crap he/she made of things.