Suggesting on how to stop a divorce?
Have been married for a little over 5 years and dated for about 2 years before got married. We have a 3 year old daughter. I wanted to remain a virgin tell we married I know my husband had some experience before we started dating but did not want to know details and still do not. My husband is the one wanting the divorce and think in a way it relates to my sexual beliefs. It is the only real thing we have or do fight over or least as in big fight. He wants sex more then the once a month that we have now and to have sex in more then the normal position (Missionary). These other things he wants to try just seem dirty and unnatural. I love my husband very much he is a very good provider and I have been able to stay home with our daughter like a good mother should. Now things are going to be a mess my family will wonder why we are divorcing and my daughter will be hurt by this. Also I will not be able to stay home with her any longer if single will have to work and put her in daycare. Please can someone give suggestions on how to fix this I love my husband very much and it hurts to think that will lose him.
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Filed under: Divorce
Hey Happy Kitty,
Sex is a major role in marriage but so is communication. Here’s a couple of things you might look at doing. You could visit a therapist or counselor to help you in this situation. It sounds like you have a mental blockage against sex in general for some reason.
Some people have grown up with beliefs that certain parts of sex is down right distasteful and sometimes we have to retrain our thoughts. If you’re up for it, there’s actually a good video series that cover these kinds of issues. It used to run on showtime called "Sexual Healing". They cover everything from marriages with sex issues all the way to nearly couples separating.
It’s very tasteful and it helps you see real couples on how they fixed their bedroom and marriage problems. If you think you’ve got problems, you should see these couples. If you want to learn more about these you can by checking out the resource link at the bottom. Don’t worry, it’s free to watch them also. Hope this helps you.
Oh yeah, there is a little bit of nudity in the videos but it’s very tasteful. The couples are actually being helped by expert marriage counselors and sex therapist.
Easy fix…..Communicate!!!! Have you tried compromising on the things that will make YOU both happy, not just him….Marriage can’t be onesided. And sex is not the fix all, but marriage has to be based on give and take. He is your husband, nothing wrong with sharing intimate moments or expressing it differently. You have nothing to lose, you might even spice up your marriage. You may want to get a job at some point anyway, just to ensure you are able to take care of yourself should something unforeseen arise. Women should NEVER depend on staying home and the husband being the only one working. You will make your own life harder and many times, they find a working woman to cheat with. In this day and age, women really need to stop thinking sitting at home is the answer…..It is a recipe for disaster.
So, this is about YOU and not yourselves. Sex once a month? Crikey, you are lucky he is still there at all! Your so-called beliefs about sex are bs. If he wants to try different positions.. SO WHAT? Is he going to HURT YOU? Are other people going to be WATCHING? NO! You can choose between your marriage and your ‘beliefs’, but he is a saint to put up with this.
I feel really, really sorry for your husband.
You either start sleeping with your husband or he divorces you so he can find a woman who wants some loving.
Lighten up. Have you read song of solomon? I would recommend you doing that. Another good book you should read is Sheet Music by Kevin Leman. It is a book on intimacy in marriage written by a Christian author. Once a month is not very often. I know I would not be happy with that. I hope you get the book and know that nothing between you and your husband is morally wrong. Just tell him you want to work things out between you.
Sounds like an easy fix, stop being a sexual prude! What man would be happy with such a boring sex life?