One best strategy to stop the divorce?
If a husband is confused about divorce, like some days he said he really wants it and some days he said he is not sure if he will file, should I keep pursuing him and make him see that he should come back to the family? He has already moved out 2 weeks ago. Is it totally on me now to convince him to return or should I just leave him alone and dread that he will eventually make a bad decision and start filing the divorce?
I really would like to have him back. We both messed up and we need to forgive and forget, and rebuild our marriage. I don’t know what is the best strategy to deal with a man who is in an unsure stage right now. I feel I have a 50-50% chance. What is that one winning strategy to do right now to get him to drop the divorce idea? I know he has gone to see an attorney but he said he is still not sure about filing, he is only finding out the process.
Related Posts
Filed under: Divorce
Some use ROARING GUNSMOKE! DOLTS like that usually get a government paid vacation.
Write him a letter, tell him how you feel put all ego aside , tell him you want it to work and see whats his response, if he gets big headed kick him in the groin!
you must have really hurt each other to be going thru this. You have a family and you need to convince him that right now there are hurt feelings, but you have got to look toward the future. Stupid mistakes should not warrant stupid decisions. Take a breather…but get his butt back to your house soon. Men get lonely fast. Don’t give him too much space. Good luck!
If someone doesn’t want to or doesn’t know if they want to be with you, its not up to you to convince them otherwise, unless you are the reason they want a divorce, maybe because of your behavior or actions. There is no strategy in convincing someone to stay, and to be honest, if you have to convince him, should he really stay around?
I’m sorry to tell you there is no winning strategy. If he is considering divorce and moved out, most likely he will be filing. He is going to see an attorney, he already knows the process.
I don’t think your husband is confused. I think you are. You want him to stay in the marriage but he doesn’t want to. Maybe it is to much hurt to repair. Whatever the case may be, you may have to realize that your marriage is over, and start the healing process.
the best strategy is say that you’re sorry. talk to him if there is anything you can do for him to drop him divorce you. make a deal, promise to change if it is needed, try make your marriage work.
it might be ackward at first but it is your marriage and both of you must willing to compromise when problems come. put your wedding vows into practice. good luck
Read the book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Laura Slessinger.
If your husband isn’t sure about wanting a divorce, then I’d say you have a lot of hope! The one thing you could do to win him back would be to tell him or write him about all the things that made you fall in love with him in the first place. Men need admiration and respect more than anything else. If I were you I’d start a "love" campaign and shower him with compliments (make sure they’re true!). Do all the things a loving wife would do–buy him little gifts only you know he would like; send him cards telling him how wonderful he is–and be specific.
Sit down and write a list of all the great characteristics he has. Then write him and tell him how much you love, admire, enjoy, appreciate, long for those wonderful things that he is. Forget about your grievances and ‘date’ this man again. And don’t give up! Even if you get no response, make it a one-sided campaign to build him up again and convince him that no other woman could ever love and appreciate him like you do.
If he is at all responsive, don’t play hard to get. But also don’t pester him about it if he isn’t. He may need to see that you are truly sincere so if you really want him back, don’t just play at this. You want him to see that this is his new life with you–a woman who admires and appreciates her man. It may take some time to convince him but what have you got to lose? It’s almost certain he would not have even considered divorce had he felt truly appreciated and admired.
And a man who is ever rejected sexually will not feel appreciated or admired–just so you know. This may not be part of the equation but usually it is.
Most women don’t understand that a man needs his wife to be responsive to his sexual advances more than he needs her to wash his clothes or make him meals. Having a wife who isn’t ‘interested’, tired all the time, or just doesn’t have time for sex makes a man feel unloved–no matter what else she may do for him. Sex is not just a wish for a man, it’s not just an oh-it-would-be-nice kind of thing—it is a NEED. And to have a wife who is not fulfilling that need proves to him more certainly than anything that she doesn’t truly love him. So, if that’s at all been your problem, you’ll have to prove to him you want him sexually too or he likely will not come back.
If I were you I’d go out today and buy some black sexy lingerie. You could even give it to him as a gift with a note that says something like, "I miss your body and what you do to me" It’s very hard for a man to stay mad at a woman that’s ‘hot’ for him!
I hope that helps!
Put out in bed. Oh yea that would help you out
My wife and I are going through a similar thing, but she is the one who isn’t sure. She isn’t ready to make a decision and this has been going on for almost 6 months, but I am willing to wait as long as it takes. The best advice I can give you is to give him space and not let him see that you are taking it hard. If you can show that you are ok and be as close to the person he fell in love with I think he will see you in a new light. I also think that the suggestion of a letter telling why you fell in love is not a bad idea, make him think about it, but at the same time let him know that you are going to respect his wish for space, but your wish is this….. Good luck, I hope it works out for you!