my boyfriend and I fight and have gotten physical how can we communicate better and save our relationship?
posted Thursday,
12:52 pm
we have been living together and we jumped into a really deep right away. I love him more than anything in this world I just dont know how to get our love back from where it was. We have just gotten a lot more stress in our lives but I want to get this fixed now.
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Filed under: Relationship
You made the right choice of living with him before taking it to the next step and getting married.
You might think you love him, but now you really know what your relationship will be like in the future. You need to sit down by yourself, make sure you a relaxed, and think about your relationship with him for a few hours.
Ask yourself if it is really worth saving, and ask yourself if you really do love him, or is it just puppy love.
If you really do love him, then go see a counselor, or you could tell him that you want to take a break and let him miss you and remember how good he had it.
Just remember, just because you love someone, doesn’t mean you were mean to be together.
If he’s hit a girl, he’s scum. Move on with your life and find a real man.
talk about it. a long serious talk always works
break up you are incompatible
dump him
You can try counseling and if that doesn’t work consider that this may not be the man or relationship for you. This could be a toxic ‘love’ and maybe you guys have just gotten comfortable and are afraid to move on even though moving on might be the best thing.
End it… The only worse you can do in a relationship is cheat…
Stay away from those you fight with it wont go away. Oil and water.
you’re only chance is if you go to couples therapy and each take anger management training, and/ or expressiveness and communication training.
But even that’s a stretch. I suggest you break it off before someone gets hurt. Sorry.
If he is physically abusing you get away from him. He won’t stop and it will get worse.
Don’t let things get physical. If you get to that point, take a break and talk about it later. Stress in your life can be tough on a relationship. Just make sure you both don’t take out your stresses on each other.
I been there done that. Anyone that hits another person it isn’t love it is wrong. This can’t be a good love mate. You both need to work on what it is that makes you want to toss the other person. When you get like that then walk away. Talk to one another. If you want it to work out then you need to talk to one another to find out what you both need to do, I wish you both the best.
OMG! hahaha. Been there, done that.
I go to college with my boyfriend and we have been fighting a lot too.
One thing I realized was that I should be more patient with him.
See, he’s a very short tempered person. If he’s mad, I shouldn’t be. I should cheer him up, not be mad as well because that won’t solve anything. yes, every couple argues. It’s because they love each other and care for each other. Him and I are going great now because I’m being more patient. He told me that he loves me a lot because I am so patient with him and I am so kind and sweet. See, I accomplished something by controlling my anger. It really works.
Try to isolate where the stress is coming from. If it is not from each other and is rather outside influences than you need to separate your relationship from them In other words, sit down and talk about what is stressing you out and causing fights. If you can determine it is not each other then acknowledge that, and make a pledge to not take out your stress on each other. Try to find a different stress reliever (running, vidoe-games, reading….)
the big problem I see is when anger or stress is misdirected.
It’s good that you understand that this is also your responsibility unlike the brainwashed zombies who make it seem if two people get physical it’s only the man’s fault.
You two do not know how to constructively communicate with one another. I would suggest counseling. I know that this is common for people to say but it’s good to have somewhere neutral where the two of you can actually discuss your problems constructively and have someone show how to communicate more effectively.
Get your own place to stay, shacking up is NOT good. stop having sex, stop letting him push your buttons, and get counciling.
do you both share the same faith?
Seek God and learn to forgive.
I Corinthian 13.
Read carefully and follow it. Both have to do it in the same way.
take a break. go stay with a friend or your parents for about a week or so. let things cool down. then have a "date". meet up somewhere for lunch or dinner. then still wait a couple more days….see how things are going. communication is key. make sure you still talk on the phone, but keep it short and sweet. then when you’re both ready to talk about the serious issues, do it face to face. either of you getting physical is completely unacceptable. and once it gets to that point, it won’t stop unless both of you are willing to take a step back, cool off, and come back together and get through it as a couple.
If he’s hitting you, or hard (I don’t mean pushing you off him if your smashing into him), then you should consider telling him that’s not on. That’s never a good solution and he will do it more and more (sorry).
If you’re the one hitting him then STOP. Get some dam self control.
You’ll need to talk with him, and maybe have angry sex after a bust up.
He gets physical and you say that’s just stress, oh no its not stress.
its call being irresponsiblee.
How do you communicate better? You don’t. How often do you see men sitting around the kitchen table, sipping tea, and talking about their feelings? Never. If you want your relationship to change then change your behavior. If you want romance be romantic. If you want sex be sexual. If you want love be loving.
Men could care less if you talk about change they want to see the change. If you are with a good man he will respond to your loving ways and return the love. If you get no response then your boyfriend is the wrong guy for you and it’s time to move on.
We all want instant gratification, however life isn’t always going to be that simple, you and your boyfriend are basically bouncing this negative energy off each other to the point of dysfunction and bitterness, this is where fighting and arguing leads to, it leads to more fights and more bitterness, till one day someone has had enough. You are both at a high risk for breaking up, and I am guessing that your boyfriend is getting mentally drained by all this, and when men get mentally drained, they bail. So if you really want to keep this relationship intact, start keeping it simple and stress free, men and women both tend to do much better when simplicity is on board, so keep it simple, and don’t have any high expectations of making this work within a day, this takes a consistent effort on both people.
A man has only one chance to lay his hands on me and id b gone…. I dont do it to anyone. Physical violence is never the solution.
I was in this situation. Once things get physical it’s time to leave. It won’t get better. Violence in a relationship is the bottom so climb out!
Counseling worked for me