Comments on: Is it right to have a baby just to save a marriage? http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/119 Save A Marriage Tips Tue, 08 Nov 2011 13:55:29 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: shdwtalker2002 http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/119/comment-page-1#comment-1113 shdwtalker2002 Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:37:00 +0000 http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/#comment-1113 The only way babies save marriages is to give people the right to say, "We're only staying together for the children." That's the only way babies "save" marriages. The only way babies save marriages is to give people the right to say, "We’re only staying together for the children." That’s the only way babies "save" marriages.

]]> By: enjoyrselves http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/119/comment-page-1#comment-1114 enjoyrselves Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:37:00 +0000 http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/#comment-1114 I agree whole heartedly with you. Having a child has NOTHING to do with the success of a marriage. If anything, it adds alot of stresses financially, mentally, emotionally, physically. It's a beautiful thing but even a rose has it's thorns. If having children saved marriages, there would be no divorces with child support being paid. You need to focus on your health FIRST and foremost. I'm sure that your husband loves you and that would also be his MAIN concern. If not, you need to think about that very seriously. Adoption is a very selfless and loving way to have a family. If you both talked about that and agreed to it, then look straight ahead and focus on making that happen. Just remember this, the success to a marriage is the couple. Nobody or anything else. If you ain't got what it takes together, you ain't ever going to no matter what you add to the mix. A healthy body and a strong mind is where you need to be for yourself, your mate and any possible kiddos! I agree whole heartedly with you. Having a child has NOTHING to do with the success of a marriage. If anything, it adds alot of stresses financially, mentally, emotionally, physically. It’s a beautiful thing but even a rose has it’s thorns. If having children saved marriages, there would be no divorces with child support being paid. You need to focus on your health FIRST and foremost. I’m sure that your husband loves you and that would also be his MAIN concern. If not, you need to think about that very seriously. Adoption is a very selfless and loving way to have a family. If you both talked about that and agreed to it, then look straight ahead and focus on making that happen. Just remember this, the success to a marriage is the couple. Nobody or anything else. If you ain’t got what it takes together, you ain’t ever going to no matter what you add to the mix. A healthy body and a strong mind is where you need to be for yourself, your mate and any possible kiddos!

]]> By: jamustrip http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/119/comment-page-1#comment-1115 jamustrip Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:37:00 +0000 http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/#comment-1115 NOOOOO!!!!! Is this even a serious question?! If your marrige is going to fail because you cant have children than I would say having one would just put all the more stress into the situation. It wouldnt be fair to you him and not the child. NOOOOO!!!!!
Is this even a serious question?!
If your marrige is going to fail because you cant have children than I would say having one would just put all the more stress into the situation. It wouldnt be fair to you him and not the child.

]]> By: Catherine S http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/119/comment-page-1#comment-1116 Catherine S Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:37:00 +0000 http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/#comment-1116 Your last question hits the nail on the head. Is it really fair to put the whole success of your marriage on a child? The answer is a resounding 'no.' Do you want to be loved for yourself or your reproductive organs? Don't put your poor body through more suffering. It isn't fair to you, and a person who really loved you wouldn't ask it. Your last question hits the nail on the head. Is it really fair to put the whole success of your marriage on a child? The answer is a resounding ‘no.’ Do you want to be loved for yourself or your reproductive organs? Don’t put your poor body through more suffering. It isn’t fair to you, and a person who really loved you wouldn’t ask it.

]]> By: laurechery http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/119/comment-page-1#comment-1117 laurechery Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:37:00 +0000 http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/#comment-1117 you need to talk to him ask him what he wants and explain to him your feelings about the situation. Even if you have to go to a professional just two of you need to talk it out because I am not sure that my suggestion would be the best right he is the one with the answer. Good luck hope everything works out you need to talk to him ask him what he wants and explain to him your feelings about the situation. Even if you have to go to a professional just two of you need to talk it out because I am not sure that my suggestion would be the best right he is the one with the answer. Good luck hope everything works out

]]> By: reddevilbloodymary http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/119/comment-page-1#comment-1118 reddevilbloodymary Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:37:00 +0000 http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/#comment-1118 losing four babies in and of itsself is enough to tear apart any marriage, good or bad. Men and women deal with grief very differently and that's a difficult hurdle. I do think having a baby, of your own or adopted will help to heal a lot of the grief that you've been dealing with, although you could probably heal without a baby as well, it might take longer. However, as far as saving your marriage, no, I agree with you, the two of you will have to heal your marriage. losing four babies in and of itsself is enough to tear apart any marriage, good or bad. Men and women deal with grief very differently and that’s a difficult hurdle. I do think having a baby, of your own or adopted will help to heal a lot of the grief that you’ve been dealing with, although you could probably heal without a baby as well, it might take longer. However, as far as saving your marriage, no, I agree with you, the two of you will have to heal your marriage.

]]> By: Susan http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/119/comment-page-1#comment-1119 Susan Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:37:00 +0000 http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/#comment-1119 100% sure a child will not save a marriage. Children make a relationship a little more stressed. As much as a blessing a child is, they are not to save marriages. That's a huge task for such a new and tiny life. Don't do it to yourself or the child. 100% sure a child will not save a marriage. Children make a relationship a little more stressed. As much as a blessing a child is, they are not to save marriages. That’s a huge task for such a new and tiny life. Don’t do it to yourself or the child.

]]> By: Can of Beans http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/119/comment-page-1#comment-1120 Can of Beans Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:37:00 +0000 http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/#comment-1120 kids may trap some men out of guilt or sense of responsibility but i doubt it will make you happier with eachother. kids may trap some men out of guilt or sense of responsibility but i doubt it will make you happier with eachother.

]]> By: MG http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/119/comment-page-1#comment-1121 MG Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:37:00 +0000 http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/#comment-1121 A baby won't save a marriage that's already in trouble. I think that with your previous experiences trying to carry a child and with your age etc your chances of bringing your own child into the world are very slim indeed. You have done everything you can to have a child and it hasn't worked for you. Your health, both physical and mental, is under severe pressure with all that's going on with you and your husband and the likelihood is that it will deteriorate further with all the stress. Your husband should understand that you have done everything possible and that it isn't your fault that all pregnancies resulted in miscarriage or still birth. That's an awful lot to deal with in a very short period of time. You need to let your body heal itself and getting pregnant again won't help you. Don't be fooled though, even if you did carry a baby to full term, it wouldn't be any guarantee that your marriage would survive. If your husband still loves you he would try to understand what you're going through right now and see what multiple failed pregnancies are doing to you both!!! A baby won’t save a marriage that’s already in trouble. I think that with your previous experiences trying to carry a child and with your age etc your chances of bringing your own child into the world are very slim indeed. You have done everything you can to have a child and it hasn’t worked for you. Your health, both physical and mental, is under severe pressure with all that’s going on with you and your husband and the likelihood is that it will deteriorate further with all the stress. Your husband should understand that you have done everything possible and that it isn’t your fault that all pregnancies resulted in miscarriage or still birth. That’s an awful lot to deal with in a very short period of time. You need to let your body heal itself and getting pregnant again won’t help you. Don’t be fooled though, even if you did carry a baby to full term, it wouldn’t be any guarantee that your marriage would survive. If your husband still loves you he would try to understand what you’re going through right now and see what multiple failed pregnancies are doing to you both!!!

]]> By: whoknowsanymore http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/119/comment-page-1#comment-1122 whoknowsanymore Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:37:00 +0000 http://helpsaveamarriage.com/blog/is-it-right-to-have-a-baby-just-to-save-a-marriage/#comment-1122 Call IgeneX laboratories and ask for the IGG and IGM Western Blot for lyme test kit. Go to your doctor and demand the test, then contact your local Lyme disease network. Lyme disease often goes unnoticed, and has high rates of miscarriages. The ob/gyn doctors dont look for it, it is hard to find. www.lymediseaseassociation.org If its not lyme, check for other stealthy bacterial things that are difficult to find. I lost three babies due to this, and once cleared up, had one. so dont give up. Now, regarding the second part..your marriage is not based on if you have kids or not. It is a relationship with the man you love. If you think that having kids resolves a good marriage, that is a lie that someone has made you feel. Many wonderful couples are childless. My best friend and her husband married late in life. (1st marriage each) and she was too old to have kids. Instead they immerse themselves with their friends kids, taking them to do activities and enjoying the time together. They are 'honorary aunt Sue and Uncle Bill". they have walked two girls down the aisle on their wedding, supported one girl whose mother passed, and love their role. If you love your husband and he loves you, the two of you will find roles to fulfill this emptiness. Call IgeneX laboratories and ask for the IGG and IGM Western Blot for lyme test kit. Go to your doctor and demand the test, then contact your local Lyme disease network.

Lyme disease often goes unnoticed, and has high rates of miscarriages. The ob/gyn doctors dont look for it, it is hard to find.

http://www.lymediseaseassociation.org

If its not lyme, check for other stealthy bacterial things that are difficult to find. I lost three babies due to this, and once cleared up, had one. so dont give up.

Now, regarding the second part..your marriage is not based on if you have kids or not. It is a relationship with the man you love. If you think that having kids resolves a good marriage, that is a lie that someone has made you feel. Many wonderful couples are childless. My best friend and her husband married late in life. (1st marriage each) and she was too old to have kids. Instead they immerse themselves with their friends kids, taking them to do activities and enjoying the time together. They are ‘honorary aunt Sue and Uncle Bill". they have walked two girls down the aisle on their wedding, supported one girl whose mother passed, and love their role.
If you love your husband and he loves you, the two of you will find roles to fulfill this emptiness.

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