Im afraid that i will stop loving my kids. can a divorce make you stop loving your kids ?
It seems to be a family tridition that the women starts off very hands on and then suddenly life changes and they have no interest in their kids anymore. My mother seemed like a ok mother until she divorced my dad (when i was 
and suddenly she had no interest in me what so ever. My mother never ate dinner with me and would lock herself in the bedroom with her man all day. Sometimes i didnt see my mother till 9;00 at night (after their many rounds of sex)
My aunt has gotten a divorce and now she’s the same exact way with her kids. but it wasnt always like that… My aunt used to be a kick a** mom. She was a great mother, so how can a mom just stop loving her kids??? Can a divorce make you not like or love your kids ?
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Filed under: Divorce
Forgive me, but it sounds like your mom and your aunt are cuckoo and/or dysfunctional. I think most moms put their kids first (even monkey moms do better than what you describe – much better).
yep
No, the divorce itself does not do this. Irresponsibility leads to the type of behavior you describe. It is as if the women you mention are trying to validate their worth as partners and also trying to get back at their former spouses. And who suffers? The kids. How sad.
Not if they are real parents. Sounds like they need to get their act together and go to counseling or something. I just can’t imagine someone not loving their kids anymore over a stupid divorce. That’s ridiculous!
I could see how it could make someone more distant but if you love your kids you will work hard to make sure that this doesn’t happen.
sounds weird…my parents were divorce when i was very young as well..and that just made my mother closer to me since she was the only adult in the house…your spouse shoulnt influence the love u have 4 ur children,,,u should love them regardless of the situation with your partner because they were created when u guys where once in love..
**so basacly NO…if it does happen i suggest you look for a docts help…you should have unconditional love 4 ur kids
Wow, I have never heard of such a thing. Sounds like these women just failed to keep their priorities in order and lost their focus on what was important. I don’t think they stopped loving their kids as much as they became selfish and put their own physical desires above that of caring for their children.
I think this can only happen if you allow it to. This is why I discourage women who go through a divorce from trying to jump right into another relationship. Are women not independent anymore? Do they really depend that much on having a man in their lives ALL the time?
That attitude has nothing to do w/not loving their children, and EVERYTHING to do w/being selfish brats.
Divorce can make some people (woman & men alike) bitter, angry, selfish, resentful, or just go plain WILD! I’ve seen the quietest woman turn into raging party girls after a divorce. i’ve seen men go from being a devoted dad, to being a dead beat.
It’s all about their own way of handling the stresses in their lives. some that get divorced all the sudden feel like they are "owed" something, and act out, or do silly things, or become hateful or hurtful, or lose sight of their priorities.
not everyone does, but some do. I’m sorry your mother wasn’t there for you. i’m sorry your aunt is following in her sister’s shadow. that’s very sad. and they will realize one day and regret that mistake.
I personally was NOT like that after my ex and i divorced, i worked my butt off to support me and my son. we are very close. Even after i remarried and gained a stepson and had two more babies, i love my first born like there is no tomorrow. i love ALL my children, biological and step-kid. they mean everything to me. I cannot imagine being that selfish because my first marriage didn’t work. that’s BS.
I have never heard of something so ridiculous. Your mother and aunt we’re wrong and probably depresesd; which is NO excuse.
a divorce should not make you stop loving your kids? I mean, why are you even asking this question?? I would NEVER EVER stop loving my kids NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!
No a divorce cant make you stop your loving kids. If you love your child then that’s it. Maybe your mom was depressed or had other problems. You should love your children regardless of a divorce or not. Its not the child’s fault a marriage ended. No offense but your mom and aunt both need some counseling. Please don’t let history keep repeating itself. If you have children and are thinking about a divorce, get some help if you think you could be in the same situation.
When my kids were younger i cooked 3 squares a day. after my divorce i cooked less,and the girls started cooking more.I work full time. I provide food,clothing,shelter, and spending money. I am a good mom. we eat dinner together 2-3 times a week. Sometimes i dont want to hear everything they are talking about, but I hug them EVERYDAY!!!! I kiss them, love on them. Just yesterday I was loving on my 11yo, and I asked her if she felt loved. she said yes. i asked her if she felt loved even when i was mad. she said yes. I went thru a phase where i had lost my mind and had taken up with some fool and neglected my kids. And that bothers me as i type. So what i have done now is focused more on my kids and have resolved to meeting my "soulmate" till they are at least in college. I don’t want to bring my horrible dating life home anymore. Everynow and then I require a "tune-up", I am a grown woman, so I have needs that need attention. But I dont bring that side of my personal life to the house. You will be fine
I am sorry that you’ve gone through such a rough time. I am divorced, I still love my 3 kids (and granddaughter) very much. They are all out on their own now, but we still try to get together as much as possible. Sounds like your mother and aunt have some self esteem issues, rejection, divorce is difficult for many people to handle and they need to be assured that they are still wanted, and attractive to others.
But the choice is still yours on how you handle your life, you don’t have to follow in the footsteps of anyone else. You may be related, but you are not your mother or aunt.