If you have failed as a wife how do you save your marriage….?
posted Friday,
1:43 pm
After many years of marriage, I realize that it is me and not him that failed to do my part. Unfortunately his heart has wondered toward another. We are still married, what can I do besides apologize and ask for another chance? I’ve done that, but he won’t give me any clear sign whch way he is headed….
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Filed under: Marriage
The road back from adultery is a very hard one. If you don’t have any kids, I would say leave him and start over with someone else. You could spend months of work on the relationship only to find he has been double dipping.
If you do have kids, then for their sakes, try to save the marriage. First make it clear you made the mistakes, realize it now, and are willing to make things right. Here are the rules:
Never ever contact the other man, ever, and not in any way, phone, mail, email etc. If the other man ever does contact you, inform your husband immediately and let him handle things, never talk or answer him yourself.
After your initial "deal" never talk about the affair again, neither of you, even in a fight.
If either of you cheats on the other, all bets are off, it’s divorce court.
Be a loving wife. He will need, and I’m serious here, lots of sex at first. That will go very far in healing things. Eventually you can level off, but never again make him go for more than a week or so without a climax. The lack of sex is the number one reason men start sniffing around for some one else. You have a lot of making up and you need to be sure he sees your love for him as real.
That saying is true "u don’t what u have until u lose it" ask him what does he want to do?
its a good thing you know the problem is you and you admit it. thats a start. now you have to change, for you to start winning him back, you have to start with yourself. look hard, look deep and seek advice from friends. email me if you want, im willing to help you. been there, done that.
try as hard as u can…show him how good u can trweat him…hopfully hel want only you…
If I failed my marriage I would take all the responsilbity and let him go. He would deserve better so I would walk
Just patient!!! Like you said, your marriage is gone through many years. He probably was hurting for many years. He needs some times to think it through. You need to have patient and show him that you would willing to change and you love him very much, just wait. You don’t want to push him now, more you push him to give you an answer, more you push him away, on the other hand, if he starts to take advantage of you or don’t respect you anymore, then just take this marriage as a lesson, if next time you meet someone you really care about, don’t do the same mistakes again. Good Luck!
You can try to save the marriage but he is going to have to trust that your behavior isn’t just to keep him in the relationship and that you are serious about making things better.
You might not be able to fix it, but you can try. The key is finding out what you were doing wrong and demonstrate a willingness to do the right thing consistently.
Sometimes it’s too late to fix the hurt, but it’s never too late to apologize and change.
First off it takes 2 to make or break a marriage. But if you feel your more at fault than him all you can so is give him time but remind him occasionaly that you love him and want to make it work. It easy to give up, but somtimes you have to be commited to the commitment. good luck
First, it is not one person in a marriage that causes the failure. It’s both. If marriage is a partnership, then the blame is both partners. Go to counseling. Both of you or even you alone. I think you have some self-esteem issues.
Make a really huge gesture to show him how much you are willing to pay him back for all the trouble…
Make a big sacrifice and give him something really big!
And for a year or so, keep paying and letting him know that he was right and you were wrong.
WOW this is refreshing a woman that tells the truth and actually takes some of the blame for the marriage falling apart and for her man cheating. I have been on Yahoo Answers for over a year and I have never seen this before!!! Be as honest with him as you are with this question and if he doesn’t want to be with you anymore it is over and it is his loss. Good luck.
If he is truly done then really there isn’t anything you can do. You may just have to chalk it up to lesson learned and move on.
It seems that you BOTH failed to be really invested in the marriage.
What was "your part" and how did you fail? Was it in what you expected to be your contribution to the marriage, or his? Are you now prepared to meet your obligations, fully and wholeheartedly? To work harder at getting it right? How can you show him that that is the case?
You may have failed in "your part" but that DOES NOT give the other partner permission to cheat – that is a failure on their part. They had other options open to them – talking to you about how they were feeling, working through the problems with you, taking a step back and waiting to see if things would improve, or leaving.
Unless you are BOTH willing to work on each of your own contributions to that failure, then it can’t work. No one person makes the marriage fail, and no one person can make a marriage work. That’s an inescapable fact.
If he doesn’t want to work it out, it is over. Then you will have no option but to learn from your mistakes, and hopefully do better next time.
All relationships take 2 to fail…..not 1. You may of had a hand in it but your are not the only one to blame. Pick yourself up and move on. If you have already asked than that is his problem.
Go get counseling.
once a thief always a thiefe.
Let him go and be with someone his equal.
if you have anorther chance you will just abuse it again.
you can move on now to soemone your equal.