if a husband came to know about wifes past then how can wife save her marriage?
posted Thursday,
5:23 am
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So much depends on what the ‘past’ is, why she didn’t tell him, and how he found out.
If the ‘past’ was murder, deceit, robbery and more then be honest with your self and realize the person you preteneded to be isn’t the person you are and it is over.
If the ‘past’ is like most women’s where you were more promiscous than you’ve lead hubby to believe then it is time for a big dose of honesty and communication.
Sit him down at a calm time…and nowhere near the bedroom and say the dreaded ‘we have to talk’. And explain as a girl you wanted a husband, a family and a normal life but as a young lady you got into the fun and excitement of a much more wild life. But now you have the life you wanted. That you decived him only because you love and respect him and did not think he would respect what you did.
Now is the ticky part. Women understand that ‘what I did does make me what I am’…but having done things you are not proud of…or are proud of but choose not to do now makes you a better person. You need to convince him of that.
And when he asks don’t skimp on the details. Don’t run away form your past. You’ll have to explain that yes you did a lot of things with a lot of people but you’ve learned from that and now only want him.
This is the hard part for guys…when they hear their woman slept with 10, 20, 30 or more guys they feel like they will never be able to compete. You have to explain that he may not be the biggest, longest lasting, or a 100 hundred other things. But he is the one who has the most things you want and that is why you chose him. And the others had your body…he has all of you.
Lastly, this is tricky too but it can close the deal. Sometimes women know it all..but then play demure for hubby. Time to tell him…’but you know…not only am I very good in bed…but I’m all yours’. And be willing to rock his world from time to time.
What you want him to believe when you two are done talking…you’ve had many but chose him…and he is lucky because he gets a very sexy and experienced woman all to his own.
BC
Depends on what her "past" consists of…cannot answer your question without more specifics.
From a personal perspective I’d say that if the wife wasn’t honest about her past, then perhaps it can’t be saved. Honesty, trust and communication are the key elements of any relationship. If her husband found out things that shine a different light on his view of her, he’ll be wondering what else he didn’t know about her.
She can say that what happened that happen you cannot change it
I’m with katie200. what was she, an axe murderer? piano player in a whore house?
Katie is right….all depends on what ur past consist of.
Only you know what kind of character you have as a person, and if you want to save your marriage do nt worry as long as you love your husband and your husband loves you. if you had a horrible past then you need to talk to your husband and he might understand. Tough to say what will happen in ur case. Mostly men can forget it all if ur honest after marriage.
Then depends what kind of a man u have in ur life !!
That would depend on what she did in the past. Tell us what you did that you kept a secret from your husband. Maybe then we can give you some good advice.
He will have to deal with it.Marriagee is a life long commitment.
everyone has "a past", why would it be an issue!
A marriage isn’t really a marriage if there are secrets between you.A spouse is a person you can lean on when times are tough and you know that person will stand by you no matter what is happening.you are both in that together.life is full of surprises and you both need to know all the little secrets about each other BEFORE you get married.if there are secrets, they will pop up and cause all kinds of problems.Get to know each other before tying the know and always be honest with each other.
i dont think it matters.. my husband always tells me the past is the past whatever you did or what ever i did was done before we even met so i dont think there should be any problems.. well it also depends on the person… how they see things
you have to sit down and have a long talk and explain why you didn’t tell him and try to explain why you did whatever you did. tell him that your not that person anymore that it shouldn’t matter what either of you done before you found each other, that your not going to do any thing to hurt him or your marriage and ask him if he ever done something that he wishes he could take back. and tell him your sorry that you wasn’t the one that told him about your past but you was worried he would think and look at you differently and ask if you can move on and only look to the future not the past
this is happening because you do not have God in your life, same as a lot of married couples, singles. They go though adultery,masturbation,abuse,hatred, rage, anger issues,pre-marital sex,divorce, financial problems, gambling, drinking, drug abuse….on and on.
But if they only said this simple prayer, and follow His rules, stop sinning,worship Him and Him alone(Father/ Jesus/Holy Spirit). only.
Then He will make your life and families life Heaven on Earth, He worries about all, He helps with all, He loves us so much it grieves me so much that people go to their graves without knowing His UNFAILING LOVE! GOD IS THE MOST AWESOME THING ANY HUMAN COULD EVER EVEN HOPE TO EXPERIENCE EVER!
I urge all families to all hold hands and ask together. : say this prayer
you will never regret it.
Put aside your unbelief and Say this prayer so God can come into your life, He is right there waiting, hoping You will make this choice & say it.
He has a plan for your life He can and will help you with everything. He wants you to be the best you can be. He loves you and gave You free will to choose having His unfailing love in your life or not He loved you first and left the door open for you. Its up to you to walk through into His loving arms.
God can help you, If only you ask Him.
If you want to accept Christ as Savior and turn from your sins, you can ask Him to be your Savior and Lord by praying a prayer like this:
"Lord Jesus, I believe You are the Son of God. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. Please forgive my sins and give me the gift of eternal life. I ask You in to my life and heart to be my Lord and Savior. I want to serve You always." Amen
He helped me and I want you to feel his Love too.
Then pass on this prayer to others so they can get to know Gods unfailing love too!
She should have been truthful in the first place because peoples past always seem to come back and haunt them.
You need to ask pointless questions that no one could give any meaningful answer.
he should of known about it before he said "i do". if it was that big of a deal.
In my opinion it shouldn’t matter what you did before you met him. It should be what happens now.I am dealing with that with my boyfriend now. He gets drunk and throws up my past. I don’t cheat on him and I do love him so it shouldn’t matter.
Get it all out in the open and deal with whatever happens