How to stop a divorce – husband has harmed the kids?
My husband has hurt the kids so badly that I don’t want to be bought off in a divorce. No man should be able to get away with what he has done. I can’t go to the police. He used the police against his own children. It’s an impossible situation.
The only way I can stop him now is to bring his attempt at divorce to a grinding standstill. Is it true that if he doesn’t support his kids, and doesn’t make any good arrangements with me for their care, he can’t get a divorce? He has left them in the most appalling cruel way. I cannot get a lawyer as I can’t afford it.
This is in CA.
Is it true that he has to make arrangements for the care and support of his minor children before he gets a divorce granted? I don’t want to be married to him, but I can’t divorce him as he would know where the children and I are living. He really is a danger to them.
He already tried to get a restraining order against the kids when they tried to see him. They hadn’t seen him for nearly a year and they rang his doorbell. The next day he tried to take out a restraining order – but failed. Still I can’t take one out or it would look like retaliation, and I don’t think it would be granted. He said the children were abusing him by trying to see him! They are so hurt.
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Filed under: Divorce
Step back and listen to what you are saying. Your husband is hurting your children. Your husband is a danger to them. You can’t go to the police for whatever reason. Yet you don’t want to divorce him either? That rings of domestic violence and battered woman syndrome. Contact your local victims advocate group and ask for their help. They can provide you with information and options. Remember that you need to fight for your children’s safety. The longer you stay around him only serves to allow the abuse to continue. Be strong, and good luck.
Try getting some help from a women’s shelter. Call them and ask for advice. They will know where you might find a very inexpensive or free lawyer. They will know what all your legal rights are or who will help you.
Talk to someone in family court. Get a restraining order against him. And talk to an attorney, some do free consultations or you can use legal aid.
just kill the husband
I’m a wreck right now so pardon me if I come off wrong. If your husband is abusing the kids you need to divorce him. It might not be the right thing for you but for your kids it will. I have friends that were abused when they were little by their father and they will never be the same. Don’t make the children regret being born into the family.
It’s a free country and he has a right to divorce you.
The judge will decide what happens to the kids, but most likely you will get custody and he will pay CS and be allowed lots of visitation.
The only way you can stop the divorce is to convince him to withdraw it, but I doubt his attorneys would like that idea and convince him not to.
Your in C.A. i just got divorce in c.a. well to start with.. the laws are very different i went thru a long 12month divorce. that it went to trial.. it was nasty..
okay don’t worried about the kids.. they will be in your custody .1st thing u need to do is make police reports u have to.. or the courts won’t believe u.then go talk to a social worker about the abuse he is using against the kids. that u need a home.. they will get u into a home.that he can’t find u. 3rd restraining order 4th talk to your family memeber for help aslo..
See all this i’m telling you the courts going to ask you, is a very serious thing.. the judges in c.a. are harsh to men who abuse there wife and kids.. but they do get mad if you don’t report it.. get out the house.. because the more your there the less the judge going to believe your in crisis.. don’t believe what he is telling you, u have the power to save those babies.. do it for them.. not for him..
best of luck and god bless and pray..
Is it true that he has to make arrangements for the care and support of his minor children before he gets a divorce granted?
I will answer this portion of this question, as the first half profides too little quality detials to provide an option or answer that would not harm either you or the chidlrenm and honestly I just do not understand what you are implying other than he hurts the kids, you still let him the police can’t stop him from doing so, and he won’t support the kids and you want too stop the dvc.
So I will answer from a legal stand point and a little of what I do get an understanding on. I hope I do help.
First most parents do not provide for their child(ren) during the brakedown of a marriage or even after a court Order has been filed and he or she has been ordered to do so. So you are not providing a shocker there.
No, most don’t even after they are divorced, and two he can get a divorce by statues only, so if he has a smart enough paralegal or attorney he will get his dvc weather you want it or no. I am sorry. What does this mean, well it means that he can request that the judge reserve all matters concerning all of the following, child support, child custody, visitation, care, health care, spousal support, community property assets and debts, separate assets and debts; this would include yours and his retirements from employment and or personal, and so on. Now by state law, you can’t stop him, so long as he follows CA Statues, and court judicial rules. This would be the same for you as will, if you wanted a dvc, and he refused to settle on these or some of these issues, you could request the judge for judgment statues only divorce and would have your marriage terminated and have all issues determinate later. I do not know who you are being adviced by but you truly need to seek the advice of an attorney. You are being very misrepresented and if he is the one feeding you this info, then no surprises there. As for your children if you are knowingly placing them back into harm then you are just at fault as the person doing them harm. They are children they cannot say no, you can; please I beg you do not do this.
Take a look at a form called a UCCJEA, read the first page. Take a look and read the Family Law Court Rules from the Superior Court County of Santa Clara self help web site, or whichever county web site you are from; also you may need to pick them up from the court house. There are ways to file your paperwork with a form that declares you address confidential due to your circumstances. So do think because you are running scared that you can’t file court forms, you can. I do it all of the time for my clients. I could oh so give you so much more help but you need to do this yourself, and I do not think anything I truly could say much that would make a difference unless you actually walk the talk yourself. Good Luck and may god bless your children. Waiting around for others to do the hard work for you can get you and those you love harmed. I speak from experience, and from love, though my words may seem harsh and uncaring they are just matter of fact, and very hopeful.
Always keep in mind there are circumstances to every situation that change everything, what I have just provided you is very simple solution, though the circumstances around this are scary it is still possible. You can even should you decided to stop moving forward with the dvc, go to the D.A. for child support and care, or you can file for it through the court system which ever is easiest for you, and not having his address is not an excuses for me, and should be for you, from your comments you appear to know where to find him; there are options, yes time consuming but options, never ever let time stand in your way.
Good Luck to you and yours.