How to save my marriage?
posted Friday,
12:48 pm
My wife and i have been together 10yrs married 4. She has changed in the last year and a half. She will not communicate what she wants. I have tried everything from romance to spice up the sex life. vacations, etc. nothing is working, we watched fireproof no luck. any advice? she does say she loves me and we can work it out but i am at a loss. Thanks in advance to all of you.
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Filed under: Marriage
she’s depressed, and when your depressed its hard to be able to make the changes one needs to do to save a marriage. when your depressed its like u know what needs to be done but your unable to do it. she probably does love u, she needs some help.
Sounds like she may be going through some sort of depression. Get her to talk to her doctor…Us girls go through so many hormonal changes and if she seeks help, you will see her change her feelings. Hang in there, I know its not easy but it also sounds like she loves you very much.
couples therapy
Maybe she can’t communicate what she wants because she herself doesn’t really know. All this time you have been together… keep trying. Maybe marriage counseling would help
Fireproof was a great movie! Did you know that the book his dad gave him in the movie is real? I am doing it right now. It’s called the Love Dare. I got mine online at discountbooks.com for about 5 dollars. Just pray and have patience.
It sounds to me like you are doing everything that you possibly can. In order for your marriage to be save, SHE needs to be the one to step up. My advice is to go to a marriage counselor. When I was married, I found that it was impossible for me to communicate directly with my husband but, when we were in therapy, it was a lot easier for me to open up about how I was feeling. I think for me, having the third person took a lot of pressure off me & she had a way of helping both of us see how the other was feeling. I know that if he & I had talked about a lot of that stuff on our own, it would’ve led to huge fights because we would’ve taken everything the wrong way & not been willing to really listen to what the other person was trying to say.
Anyway, I think I made my point.. Marriage counseling is my suggestion. I highly recommend it.
Sounds a little like u two may need some marriage counseling to help sort out the communication problem, it must be something deep down that she maybe afraid to tell u. Just try a few sessions and see how u go.
she’s having an affair that she is emotionally attached to…if she loves you its only enough to spare your feelings from the truth…move on and let her go…you deserve more believe get out and be happy….if she has any love left for you losing you will turn her around faster than any vacation…she needs to realize your worth…and if she doesn’t hey you saved yourself ten more years of a boring unfulfilled marriage, believe there are tons of women who have a good head on their shoulders who would love a man to romance her ! Good Luck!
10 years and I’ll bet you know <1% of who she really is!
Time to do the work that should’ve been going on all along.
Question: Do you have any cookbooks in the house? Why?
(Don’t you know how to cook?)
Do you have any relationship books in the house? Why?
(10 yrs – don’t you know how to do relationship?)
Hit the books buddy! In this you will show your wife that you are finally desiring to find her heart.
1. Captivating by Stasi Eldredge
2. Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
3. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
4. Love, Honor and Forgive by Pam Farell
5. Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
6. His Needs – Her Needs by Willard Harley
marriagebuilders.com
divorcecare.com (this is not just for divorced people! Almost everyone that goes through this 13 weeks says that they wish they had known this stuff BEFORE they got married!)
And don’t ever stop with this! Go to church together. Get involved in a couples Bible Study. You want to do the hardest thing you can and will ever do? Pray for your wife. Hold her under the covers and pray to God (out loud) for her. I guarantee that she will cry and so will you!
Sorry to hear about your dilemma. She could be goon through a depression, mid life crisis or hormone problem. Seek professional help.
My husband and I have been married for almost 29 years, together for 30. We have been through a lot of ups and downs. It sound as if you have been doing most everything right. Have you tried counseling? Actually I hate to bring this up, but is there a possibility someone else could be in the picture?
sounds like im reading something my husband could write. were in the same boat. im suffering depression at the moment it doesn’t matter what he tries to do i sort of push him away even though i don’t mean to. im getting help from my doctor, try talking to your wife again tell her how worried you are. she might open up she might not. suggest going to see a marriage counselor. just remember to tell her you love her everyday. hope it all works out for you both x
counseling
She sounds depressed. Not that your doing something wrong as such . maybe you should refer her to a doctor who can put her on some medication to help deal with it. a counsillor could also help her. Talk to her about these possible solutions and if she insists it’s not depression then you could both go to couples counsilling and work out what the problem is. I’m sure you’ll be able to get through it.
Good luck!
there is a problem she doesn’t want to tell you but …try to tell her everything you think,you feel.
Sit her down and tell her how you feel. She doesn’t really understand your feelings as well as she says she does.
Tell her that you’ve tried everything, but what does she want? Tell her you want this marriage to work, but does she? Ask her if you should leave her, or try and make this work?
It seems a whole lot simpler to leave her with no kids. If you do have children, unfortunately they would grow old unhappy if you stayed together anyway.
Hey Becool, am sorry about what you are going through. Your wife seems distant maybe because she lost touch. Best thing to do, ignore her. Be the man….don’t stoop low and do everything for her. I think then, she’ll be able to realise that you are the man in the house.
Personally, i think that when you give a woman too much attention, she tends to manipulate you….
All the best brother.
Love your wife through this. Find other ways to be intimate with her. Talking is always a great way to start. If you sense that she’s just not herself, counseling is a great option. As long as she’s willing, things will change. It takes both of you to get past this. No matter what, love her, don’t judge her for what’s going on.