Comments on: how to save a marriage if you thought your spouse cheated but they really didnt?

By: Lux Lavo

Lux Lavo — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 05:51:53 +0000

You stop the behavior and negative thinking immediately before it’s too late. Once you push them too far, there is no going back. I had an ex ruin a perfectly good relationship with me because she was obsessed with the idea of me cheating even though I never even came close. Enough was enough, so I moved on. Hopefully she grew up since then.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 05:51:53 +0000

Counseling. For yourself and for eachother.

By: Jim

Jim — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 05:51:53 +0000

If it’s worth saving you get on your knees

By: Stef

Stef — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 05:51:53 +0000

Well you need to apologize for overreacting and for snooping. Tell him you’re wiling to do anything and everything to make it work. Try couples counselling.

Just a word to the wise: it’s wrong to falsely and constantly accuse your partner of cheating. Many relationships end over this.

By: cutekitten

cutekitten — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 05:51:53 +0000

I have been through this & almost broke up with my boyfriend because I thought he had cheated on me twice-everything added up to is but he swore that he had a clear conscious & that I couldn’t prove anything so stop accusing him. I have put that part in the past & am trying to just trust his word. You need to tel your spouse that you apologize & that you want to move forward and that you’ll never bring it up again unless you have valid proof.

By: lorie01504

lorie01504 — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 05:51:53 +0000

Do you trust your spouse??? I know we all get insecure from time to time but if they are going to be unfaithful no matter what you do or say you cannot control it but the more you are on them the more you push them away and look for peace. The most unattractive thing in someone is a person with no self confidence and insecurity. Just let it be and be a confident person a spouse loves that.

By: americanwoman46

americanwoman46 — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 05:51:53 +0000

Never beg anyone for anything that is demeaning yourself. If a person wants to be with you then he will , if he does not then he won’t. But apologizing is the first step. The second is to gain back your trust level and Thirdly , never bring it up again. The second step is always going to be the hardest so perhaps a divorce is a bit drastic , perhaps just separating for a while would be better. Then when you have your head cleared of all of this and he does also then talk and put the cards on the table. But unless there is trust , there will never be a relationship to have. Good Luck and try these things . If you can convince him to go to marriage couseling that would also be a big plus.He can not get a divorce from you if you never sign any legal papers right? His lawyer can bug you and maybe even threaten you but it is your hand that signs the paper or not so ignore that.

By: krollohare2

krollohare2 — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 05:51:53 +0000

You need to sit down with your spouse and spend time together as a couple. Your insecurities are getting the worst of you to come out probably because you feel like you’re not getting the attention you need.

So the trust issues come up and you’re looking for attention even if its negative attention.

Make time for each other. That is the most valuable thing you can spend together. Think of it like this, your life is short. Everyone’s life is short. If you don’t give the time and effort to each other, then its going to be natural for you to feel like he’s cheating on you and he’s going to think you don’t love him because you don’t trust him.

Both of you are hurting each other. Its time to find a way to make each other happy and heal the scars and hurting.

By: Shαnnδn

Shαnnδn — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 05:51:53 +0000

You swallow your pride and decide even if it was true he would still be worth staying with and then you let it go and move forward trying to build a healthier self and relationship.

By: a lalt13

a lalt13 — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 05:51:53 +0000

I have had more accusations thrown at me in the last 20 years than I can count. And I have disproved every one of them. He has NEVER apologized to me when I have proved my side. He is a very insecure person.

For me, it has made me despise him. (And divorce him.) I had built a wall where he is concerned. i had stopped telling him every detail of my day because it has only led to more crap from him.

Unless you are willing to beg for forgiveness, the damage may already be done. and that is hard to repair, in my opinion.