How do i save a marriage of 17 years?
posted Friday,
8:09 pm
I love my wife R with all my heart. I have been an a-hole on multiple occassions and that is why she is leaving. She has decided she has forgiven me enough times. I told her I would never be an a-hole again, and of course I mean it this time. I am devestated. Is there anything Ic an do before it is too late?
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Filed under: Marriage
the best predictor of behavior is past behavior or history, and your history is predicting that you will be an a hole again…sorry, don’t know what else you can do….talk is cheap.
Suggest marriage counseling and quick. My brother was an asshole to his wife and then she suggested marriage counseling and they seem happy now. However change this time because women will get fed up.
Apologize big time!!! And promise not to be an a-hole again. Maybe renew your marriage vows and buy her jewelery!!!you know diamonds are a girl’s best friend!!
go get professional help maybe she will see that you are making a step not to be an a -hole.
one thing if you really want this marriage to last 4 ever you wont be an ass hole, the other thing she got tired and you think she forgived but let me tell you sometime you can forgive but NEVER EVER forget so it keeps playing in her mind the damage you have caused now you really gonna feel bad and their is no way in hell if she had pride and dignaty wont take you back so sorry a-hole
Sometimes things go wrong, but if it can be found, there is always an answer and help, if it is truly wanted for it to work.
One thing that makes sense to me is a statement given by a Wonderful Pastor at our Church.
If someone is defensive and hateful. You have to "Love the Hate out of Them.".
But to really answer the question, one has to really see what the other side is too. Thank you!
well the first thing you need to do is stop saying you wont do it again. actions speak louder than words. if you truly love her and she wants to work it out, you need counseling. an impartial person who can listen to both sides and advise both of you what is needed. maybe your wife has had enough, i was married for 15 years, i told my hubby at the time i was unhappy;, he told me i would get over it. i then said i thought we needed counseling, he said, go ahead i needed it not him, so the warning signs were there and he was given ample opportunity to get help with me to save our marriage and family. he chose to do nothing, so now hes alone and bitter. if you truly love her and want to make it work, suggest counseling and even somes time apart, sometimes its easier to fix something from the outside first./
good luck
First you need to be honest with yourself and determine why you did not mean it in the past. What is different this time? Is it just her saying enough is enough? Were you that sure in the past she would not leave? The only advice I can give you is to start counseling. Find a family therapist in your area and make an appt asap. This will show your wife that you want to change your ways. It may be too late for words alone, remember actions speak louder than words. Ask your wife if she will join you in counseling, express to her that you want to change and be a better person for yourself and for her. If she says no, go for yourself and commit to changing. She will at least notice your actions are backing up your words this time.
Perhaps you should go for counselling, have you thought of that. Make renewed vows , and with a counsellor, that will convince her you are sincere. I believe you are. You can read here on how a counseling secret can save your marriage:
http://selfempoweredwoman.com/35/how-a-marriage-counseling-secret-can-save-your-marriage/