How can I stop a divorce I don’t want?
My husband and I have been married since September, he left me in December for an 18 year old little girl. He broke it off with her in February, and in March he’s in love with a friend of mine. He told me he loves me as a friend, and I will always have a special place in his heart, but he wants a divorce. He won’t go for counsoling, I’m heart broken and sometimes suicidal. I’ve been with him for 5 years. I believe the problem may lie with his mother and sister. They have a lot of infulence over him. He’s now living in Michigan 450 miles from me, and his fmaily. He lost his dad 2 years ago, got no help with that because it hit him harder than anyone knew. He was also molested as a 6 year old by a family member. All these factors are playing a part, but my question is, can I stop this divorce????
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Filed under: Divorce
My answer is going to be a little spiritual so forgive me in andvance…
What to do depends on your faith. Its not God’s Will that people divorce. Its like telling HIm, "I dont think You can fix my situation Lord." But the BIble says "We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us". So that includes changing the heart of wayward husbands. How do you do that though? Through your faith. Through your own obedience to God and your prayers. When we delight in the Lord HE gives us the desires of our heart. Even if your husband isnt being the husband he’s supposed to be, you continue to be the wife you are called to be and lift your marriage before the Lord for restoration. Als ask the Lord to heal your husband of the afflictions he has suffered that bind his spirit now. The molestation, the pain of losing a parent, mistrust, whatever it is. If you seek Him with your whole heart, He will deliver you both and give you a marriage that exceeds anything youve ever known and you will have a testimony of marriage that people are amazed at…
God bless~
let him go.
You can’t and why would you want to? He is a cheater and a horrible excuse for a husband and a father. You can do much better.
no. you can’t make someone love you. my suggestion would be to immediately start seeing a counselor and then eventually try to get him to go with if he’s willing.
why would you want to stop the divorce. You say you love him, but I don’t think you love yourself. NOBODY is worth the hurt – move on and let go. You will find someone that will treat you like you deserve, like a princess, when the time is right.
NO, NO, NO….
A marriage is meant for two completely WHOLE people. That whole nonsense about finding another person to "complete" you is pure crap, girl.
He’s a very broken individual, and he needs time, and unfortunately, you can’t help him with his problems. And what’s really sad about this situation is he’s taking his problems out on you, and you’re letting it affect you to the point where YOU are suicidal…
Don’t you see what’s wrong with this picture? YOU are attempting suicide for HIS problems, which has me thinking, what are YOU going through yourself? What is going on inside of you?
It’s okay to admit that both of you need help. And it seems like the two of you can’t afford to be together right now. You BOTH need to work out the problems within yourselves before you even attemp this relationship again…
God loves us all.
U may delay it …but eventually he can legally get divorced even if u don’t want to
nope, you can’t stop it! It takes two to marry, but only one to divorce. Sorry!!!!
sorry to say, but just let him go. there is no way you can force someone to love you the way you want them to. it has to come naturally, and it seems to me like he is just not into you like you are into him. sorry this happend to you, but just let him go. i know u will be sad for a while, but there will be another love in your life.
Why would you want to stay with this guy? He had an affair 3 months into the marriage and then went on from that to your friend. No matter his problems and issues he has proven he can’t be faithful nor committed to you. He obviously doesn’t want to be married.
You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. If you stay you are signing yourself up for much more heartache as he attempts to figure his life out, at your expense too.
You would be much better off setting him free, letting go and moving on. You deserve so much more.
If you have not signed the papers you can stop the divorce, but why? He is going to continuously cheat on you and he even told you that he does not love you romantically.
You say that you are suicidal. Get help for yourself. Do not bother with marriage counselling, since he is not interested in you.
Take care,
Troy
no you can’t stop a divorce that you don’t want if the other person involved wants it?!
what is wrong with you? why would you want to fight for a marriage that you KNOW is not wanted anymore?
I hate to say this, but I really don’t think there is no way of stopping a divorce. It sounds like he doesn’t want to save the marriage at all. Even if he’s having influences on it.
If you let him go, maybe he’ll come back, if he comes back, then you know it was meant to be. I know it’s going to hurt, but if you really love him, then you want him to be happy. Maybe if you let him go, maybe he’ll find that he’s not happy without you. Or, maybe you can just try a separation. Try a legal separation, but you have to know, for a legal separation, it will be legal to be intimate with others. Try this and agree on a time period and if agree that if by this time, he STILL wants a divorce, than you’ll let him have it.
Honey, I know you love him, but just remember that you can’t make someone love you, you need to just let him go, If he really loves you then he will come back. Just remember to keep you head high and walk with pride, remember to keep your emotions inside until you by your self, don’t cry In front of him show him that you will be okay and that you can be an intelligent beautiful woman that don’t need a man who wants to be with other women, remember you can do better for your self. I hope I was able to help, but girl keep your chin up, your beautiful, intelligent, and sweet and you don’t need bullsh*t!
Unfortunately you can not stop it. If you contest it, he can make it happens still. it would just take longer. you can not make someone love you or want to be with you. Also counseling only has a 30 success rate because someone goes into it convinced that it will fail anyway.
You have to let him go if he does not want to remain with you.
Honey, stop making excuses for him, first of all. He lost his dad & that’s terrible, but i’ve never met a man who feels compelled to leave his wife because of it. He’s obviously very confused about what he wants in life because he’s out trying to find it with as many other woman as he can. But he’s not confused about you because he’s told you he doesn’t love you in an in-love way. He’s not willing to fix the marriage so even if you don’t get a divorce, all you’ll have is problems of him womanizing because he still doesn’t want to be with you. I know this is hard & maybe all those things are playing a part but it’s not up to you to fix him. You can’t. He has to want the help & he doesn’t want it, does he? You’re in for a lot more heart ache if you’re willing to stick around for a guy who doesn’t love you anymore & doesn’t want help. We woman often think we can change a man if we just do something better; be a better wife, a better friend, a better lover…..but it’s not a problem with you. It’s a problem within him, so let him go because it sounds like he truly wants you to. You deserve better for yourself. I know you feel that he is that "better", but you deserve to be happy too, so please get some counseling for yourself because ending life is not the way to go. Life is wonderful without problems in it, so just go to counseling & try to eliminate those problems so you can learn your value.
I hope this doesn’t sound too harsh, but he’s already divorced you. It is not healthy to hold on to someone that doesn’t want you they will continue to mistreat you, because you will let them. Plus when you hold on to something that’s no good, you are taking up space for something/someone good to come in. Please don’t take your own life, babe, he’s not worth it! PICK YOURSELF UP, DUST YOURSELF OFF, AND GET BACK IN THE GAME!!!!! You deserve to be happy!!!!!!!!!!! Seek God and pray, ask him to give you the strength and the courage to move on. He will do just as you ask, if you trust him to. Also, how do you feel about yourself?
People mirror how you feel and treat yourself. A good book to read is "Value In The Valley" by Iyanla Vanzant. I read it when I was thinking about divorcing my husband. It completely changed my life. Give it a shot, it can’t hurt, you know?
God Bless!
The bible says to let him go. Worldy advice would say the same. Tighter you hold on to him harder he will pull away. The book tough love answers explains this well. For me I prefer to hold on to the word. Im going through a divorce too I know how hard it is.
Take care
Francine