Doesnt it break your heart, the kids that get on here and ask what to do to stop their parents divorce? or?
posted Wednesday,
4:15 am
what to do cause one parent is confiding in them about the other cheating or a possible break up?
Its so unfair and selfish to drag the kids into the middle of something they cannot understand. They love both their parents no matter how bad the choices one makes is. Its jsut so sad when teh kids feel there is something they could of or should of done to prevent the breakup.
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Filed under: Divorce
I am a child of divorced and remarried parents. 23 years later, knowing all that went on and the "back and forth’s" between the children, I realize how sad it was. But that’s the ammunition some parents use against one another. They need leverage and they use their children. Often times, they don’t realize the permanent damage they had inflicted. What appears to be good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.
NOOOOOOOOOO
HAHAHAHAHA
It really annoys me that thier involved. It’s abuse for them to see or hear about there parents fighting and all the hostility etc. & parents saying negative thing about the other to the children.
Totally agree.
There is nothing more selfish than a parent that puts their kids in a position of bashing the other parent.
no
I think in part because those types of parents wanted to be their kids friend.
And some where in the parenting they lost the ability to set boundaries.
The kids know when there are issues within a marriage.
And when parents fight the first thing kids think of is divorce.
You read so many stories about one parent or the other losing contact with their kids due to a new spouse or lover.
Or the kids feeling overwhelmed by being split up between two households.
I think it’s the parents responsibility to try to do what ever means possible to make the relationship work, including family therapy.
But if it seems the relationship has run its course, then at least the family can walk away knowing it’s probably for the best for all involved.
it is a shame when they are used as weapons but kids aren’t dumb, they can sense and pick up on things anyways, it doesn’t have to be spelled out for them, it is sad when they blame themselves yeah.
It does break my heart to read these kind of questions. Parents have no business confiding in their children at all. They are the kids and are not our friends as we are not their friends.
The parents need to quit being so selfish and not put their kids in this kind of situation, choosing sides. How can a kid choose one parent over the other? A kid is not supposed to be our support system. They should not put them in the middle like this.
I don’t believe that the children should see and hear all of the fighting but I don’t believe they should be kept in the dark either. Knowing what is going on step by step can really be less damaging than just one day mommy or daddy packs up and leaves. Without communication they will definitely think there was something they could have done differently. Maybe if I acted better they wouldn’t fight. Maybe if I didn’t do this they couldn’t fight about it.
Yesterday my ex had her daughter call me to gather info on her dad. It breaks my heart. She would never call me on her own and it just felt all wrong. Their mom uses them as her friends and she had her ask questions about her dad’s finances. We try to let the kids feel as safe as possible instead if them feeling worried about our financial situation.