Comments on: Did you stop dating after divorce? Do you think people should?

By: Christopher

Christopher — Sat, 08 May 2010 05:21:59 +0000

Anna sometimes well meaning friends will steer you wrong but, not in this situation. Take some time and do a little soul searching on yourself before you attempt another relationship.

Here’s what I mean.

By: irish_jimmy

irish_jimmy — Sat, 08 May 2010 05:21:59 +0000

Marriage and relationships are generally bullshit. Just find good friends that want sex…that is kinda all that matters.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Sat, 08 May 2010 05:21:59 +0000

I did stop dating for awhile. I felt that I wasn’t emotionally ready to date and I think someone needs to get themselves healthy before dating again so you don’t drag the problems/emotions/trust issues etc…into the next relationship.

If you feel you need to take a break from dating then do it. Why date if you arent ready?

By: sweetroll

sweetroll — Sat, 08 May 2010 05:21:59 +0000

Your friends are right. Take a breather and figure out where you need to be right now. Even an entire year of not dating isn’t too long.

By: Beefy Cheeks

Beefy Cheeks — Sat, 08 May 2010 05:21:59 +0000

A break may be good, yes.

And I agree with your friends, the problem lies in your choice. Obviously its a pattern that you continually choose cheaters, liars, etc. If you really want to change that then you need to change yourself, you need to change your choices.. and the firs step is recognition, recognizing that you are choosing these men and changing who you choose.

By: life coach

life coach — Sat, 08 May 2010 05:21:59 +0000

I agree. Stay back and give this some thought. Change yourself ,too. Try new things, be a little out of your comfort zone. Without being the least bit selfish, you can devote this time strictly to yourself.

By: Jim L

Jim L — Sat, 08 May 2010 05:21:59 +0000

It would not be a bad idea to step back and bit. Focus on yourself for awhile, it sounds like you have lots to keep you busy. Maybe after a break you will have better luck.

By: alialoggi

alialoggi — Sat, 08 May 2010 05:21:59 +0000

I’m not sure why you are dating these guys either, but I can tell you, having been divorced, almost a year, that you need to weed them out immediately. When my divorce was over, I didn’t want to date, and 4 guys made it apparent that they were interested in me. One hasn’t has a job (bad job market in my state) and hasn’t been looking for one. He is not someone that I have anything in common with. The second, wanted to date, and was "not afraid of marriage," even when he hadn’t filed for divorce. He filed a week later and then said, "Now we can go on a date." I wasn’t interested and now he’s sleeping with 4 different women. One lied about where he lived (stupid lies tell you a lot). He said he lived on a lake and then said, "I don’t really live ON the lake." The other lies about the amount of boats he has, etc, also turned out to be lies. I didn’t really care if he had boats or a lake front house, I don’t like liars. Bye bye #3. The 4th guy is honest with me, no matter what. He tells me that he never wants to be with another woman, than me. He compliments me all the time, he tells me that he loves talking to me. He is the one I look forward to seeing, and still, I want to take my time. You have to pay attention to the signs and deside if they have character flaws. In all these cases, I saw the flaw quickly because I went into it looking to see if they were there. Don’t stop dating, just pay attention. Good luck.

By: lynnn30

lynnn30 — Sat, 08 May 2010 05:21:59 +0000

I did, And when I did start dating it was causal. I took baby steps; So I did not end up with another man like my ex.

I hung out with friends, Got to know myself. I became a better parent. Then when I did meet a man, He got a self supportive women who felt good about her self and the choices she was making.

By: ElleS

ElleS — Sat, 08 May 2010 05:21:59 +0000

Ok . . . well I can only answer from my experience

I am not yet divorced but have been separated for almost 2 years . . . my ex is now engaged . . . I never made the decision not to date but after going through a stage of making VERY bad decisions and sleeping with people I really should not have, guys that treated me kike a door mat and used me for just one thing, so, I decided to just chill for a while. I relaxed focussed on myself and my kids and my career. Not focussing on the fact that I felt I needed to be with someone to be complete was the best thing I ever did, BUT I did not decide to not date (I just didn’t). My life became much mroe settled, and I became a better person, mother and worker. And then one day, a friend and I looked at each other and we knew that that was it ! We were meant to be together and I am now that happiest I have EVER been !!!