Can I Save My Marriage? We’re separated. She reunited with ex-bfriend and says we’re incompatible. HELP!!?
we just had a babygirl – our first child. she is from europe and I am from the U.S. The last 4 months of her pregnancy (during which we were fighting and sometimes not even on speaking terms) she spent in her home country and during that time her ex-bf intervened and played the supporting role and now she and he are "together"…I am desperate and am seeking advice as to how to put our marriage back together. she will not go to counciling but has agreed to read some articles I have found on saving marriages. her claim is that she and I are incompatible because we rationalize about things differently and make decisions differently…that our lifestyles are too different but we’ve only been married for two years. she says her ex gives her security but this is the same guy who while they were dating for 10 years, slept with her best friend and her sister. All I want are my wife and daughter back. she is standing her ground and says she doesnt love me anymore but there was a reason she left him for me. I have to believe there is a way and that deep down she still loves me! I don’t want to give up. can someone please lend me some advice? thank you very much,
james
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Well I would ask her the reasons she did fall in love with you. I would keep doing those things,trying to romance her and show her love every way possible. I would ask her how would she like you rationalize things and ask her how she feels you could make decisions better for her. I would recommend going to church. Some churches such as my faith offers marriage counseling and a church may be able to talk her into it better. Worst case,become a friend to her that always shows her love.Surely if this guy cheated on her before,it will only be a matter of time before he does again,and she’ll realize you’re the one that has truly loved her all of this time. I highly suggest the movie called,Fireproof.You should definitely see it and send her a copy of it.That movie helps a lot.Best Of Luck
James i’m gonna tell you to not give up brother, just keep trying to talk to her and show her how much you care and love her and your daughter, you gotta have hope brother and you do seem like you really love her so just keep on trying just be as nice as you can be…sorry if this isn’t the answer you’re looking for but it’s the best i can do…
Damn bro, I say you stick it out a bit longer. If he’s teh type of guy who cheated or left her for another girl than he will likely pickup the same MO especially becasue she has a kid from another man. Does she have the babyin another country now? Have you seen the baby at all in real life? people from other countries do have very deeply different cultures and customs that make it easy for her to give you that excuse. The thig is you’re both human. If she continues on this path you need to start changing your frame of mind to what really matters, your daughter! This girl needs you in her life and weather that means she stays with you for 6 months of the year and back with her for 6 or whatever. You should figure it out. Are you sure the baby is yours? If you are in the US and you get divorced by law she cannot take the baby out of the country without your written consent if I am not mistaken. Try not to make it ugly like that, but you’re gonna need a backup plan if she continues on this post partum masquerade. She might get over it if you stay cool calm and collected on the outside. But you need to be like a pimp and get into her head. you need to talk to her and make her think about what she is doing and the babay and about your family and the love you have. you need to make her doubt that bastard she is with. You need to infiltrate her family and the sister who he Fu^*ed and get her and her family to start getting into her head about her decision to be with this guy as well. Find out who that other girl was he slept with and get her to "bump" into him or better yet get her sister to sleep with him again. Once your wife starts seeing his old habits she will come back to you. Do some goddamn push-ups or some P90x while you’re working on all this. And if it doesn’t work at least get your daughter, and you can bust anyone’s ass becasue you’ll be ripped. That’s some straight bullsh*t. I’m rootin for ya!!
first of all, what was the caused of your separation? did you have any proof that your wife is with her ex boyfriend? perhaps she was just making it up because she thought the same about you? I have the same situation and my baby is only 9 and a half months old, but the only different is, my husband got the divorce even without my concern and getting any paper. My priest was telling the other day that if both couple are stubborn headed, then the problem will never be solved. But it is also depends on the situation. If you believe that in your heart, you want your wife and your daughter back, then sacrifice is what you have to do. Give her a call and talk it over the situation, . Never feel bad to know that you are doing the right thing in life. God sees what you are doing, and he will be very happy to know that out of thousands people end up in divorce, there is one (you), trying to save your marriage. Talk with her and have a conversation. Trust me. It will help you. may god bless you and i’ll pray for your marriage.
Take the daughter, the bitch can’t keep her, she’s your daughter as well, and if she doesn’t want to get back together, divorce her on adultery grounds and don’t give her even 1 cent of your money, you gotta be cruel dude, that’s how life works
you’re right.. don’t give up on her.. it could be that she was depressed and angry during her pregnancy and now she’s also feeling the same way.. it could be her hormornes.. make sure you’re always there for her.. go to her place and get her back.. don’t let her move away from you.. she’s your WIFE.. that guy is just her ex-bf. So don’t let her words discourage you. Such things are common in marriages and the most important thing is that you hold on and find a solution and not simply give up on the marriage..
this is over bro…if someone does not love you man…bilieve them! No use holding on to someone who cant be held bro