Are my parents going to divorce? If so how do I stop it?
posted Tuesday,
8:23 pm
My parents always argue now. Even about the smallest things. It makes me confused, angry and a little sad. They always argued angrily for 2 years. This year they argue even more. I try to stop them, but I don’t know how.
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Filed under: Divorce
Divorce can be very difficult for children of all ages, but it is important to remember that you are not the cause of their decision to get a divorce. Both of your parents will likely want to continue being a part of your life. It is important you make your own needs known. It is important to realize this is a very difficult time for them as well. Be honest about your feelings and ask any questions you may have. If possible ask them with both parents present.
Make sure your parents know that you love and respect both of them. Therefore you won’t be taking sides in the matter. Let them know you are very willing to discuss things with them, but they can’t use you to discuss matters for them instead of interacting with each other. This is simply too much of a burden for a child to have to take on. If either one of your parents takes the opportunity to talk badly about the absent parent, stop them in their tracks.
They need to realize you love both of them equally and you are uncomfortable with such discussions.
While it can be difficult adjusting to all the changes that take place surrounding a divorce, it is very possible to enjoy the time you do have with each parent. You may find there are some negative things that have stopped occurring since the divorce. Make sure your parents know how much you appreciate it when they do try to get along for a special occasion.
If you find you are struggling to cope with the divorce ask your parents to look into counseling. This can be a joint effort involving you, your siblings, and your parents. You may prefer individual counseling without the rest of your family involved. Some communities have support groups for children of divorce. This is a great way to learn about the similar experiences of other children as well as gain support.
I don’t think you can stop it. Sorry
This happen to me and my parent eventually got divorced. You can ether tell them to stop or just stay out of it. I stayed out of it and in retrospect i should have gotten involved, because then you know more of what to expect.
You can’t stop them from arguing, but you can tell them how you feel. Explain to them that it hurts you to hear them argue and ask them to consider going into marriage counseling. Tell them that you really don’t want to hear them argue any more and ask if they’ll go to another room if they must argue. That’s about all you can do. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but unfortunately a child has very little control over the decisions and actions of their parents.
If you have a school counselor, ask to speak with him/her. They won’t be able to solve anything between your parents but they will be able to help you cope with some of what you’re feeling. You might also get some additional pointers as to how to cope and what to do when/if your parents begin to argue in front of you.
Ask one of them plainly if they are considering divorce. If so, ask them how it would make them feel if their parents were getting divorced.
Do not think it is your fault
Tell them how they are making you feel by arguing all the time. They may not realize what they are doing.
Sorry your going through this, but really it depends on their relationship sometimes arguments are just arguments and they make up and everything is okay, if they love and care for each other very much they’ll try to make things work, but the fact is if the love is gone there’s nothing you can do about it other than accept the changes there’s no point being together if they’re not happy in the long run it makes the family unhappy but at the moment it’s arguments and everyone argues so I wouldn’t think too much of it unless one of your parents keeps sleeping on the couch or one of them says they don’t love the other anymore or something else along those lines… and even if they were going to divorce it’s not always a slow process…
my dad moved out of the master bedroom 9 years ago and only moved out last March it left me numb for a few weeks but it’s not always a bad thing separation/divorce it’s a shock at first but it becomes more harmonious at home and now my dad visits us and my parents are like best friends
in the mean time don’t get caught up in the argument, just walk away, but if there’s violence in the argument I’d suggest getting your parents help through a counsellor or something…
Good luck I hope everything is okay….try not to worry before anything is set in stone
Hi Friend!
You shouldnt and you cant stop it…
Think what is better for them,not better for you…
Bye